Another week
in soap has passed but what has been happening?
EastEnders-
The week’s BIG story
The big story in EastEnders this week was the marriage of
Michael and Janine. They are clearly a match made in heaven- both are deceitful
liars with evil streaks. We’ve seen this manifest itself in numerous ways with
Janine ever since her arrival in 1999. She has wed for money but the marriage
didn’t last very long as she pushed her husband Barry off a cliff after telling
him he disgusted her. Then there was the very near marriage to an elderly
Jewish man. Once again Janine was intending to marry for money but this time
her plan was thwarted by Pat turning up and proclaiming that Janine was about
as Jewish as a bacon sandwich. This classic line from Pat has gone down in
EastEnders history but Janine wasn’t impressed seeing as her cash cow keeled
over and died before the marriage could take place.
This week saw Janine say “I do” and this time it was for
real as she married her partner in crime Michael Moon. Ok, they might not have
committed a crime together (yet!), but their collective misdemeanours make this
nickname oddly appropriate. It was a given that the majority of guests have an
open dislike for the pair yet were still invited in order to make up the
numbers. Well, a huge marquee would be no use with just the people there who
actually like Janine. As the old cliché goes, their names could be written on
the back of a postal stamp. As the guests took their seats a furious Jean
looked on and Kat decided to find out once and for all if Michael had taken
their money. After repeatedly denying that he was to blame, Michael finally
confessed to a disgusted Kat after hearing that Jean was going to kill herself
if she was sectioned. Kat had gradually worn down Michael’s defences by
declaring that she truly loved him at one point and that she never thought the
father of her child would feel nothing for their son together (Tommy.)
After confessing to Kat that he took the money and that she
was better ‘in the sack than Janine’ , Michael said that Janine truly loved him
and that he was going to test just how much. A disgusted Kat left him alone and
finally could face Jean with knowing the truth.
Whilst this was going on, Janine was left waiting at the
altar with the dawning apprehension that something wasn’t right. This was very
astute of her as Michael turned up but stopped the ceremony in order to drag
Janine away and confront her about the prenuptial agreement. He said that he
thought he was ok with it, but he wasn’t and that it meant she didn’t trust
him. Janine tried to placate him, but he began to walk out of her and her
baby’s lives for ever. Realising that she couldn’t lose him, Janine ripped up the
agreement and said she fully trusted him, even though he had just minutes
before confessed to conning Jean. Of course Janine being Janine meant that she
wasn’t fazed and said that she would have done the same thing if it had been
the other way around. She blamed herself for not treating him equally. At this
point the entire nation was throwing something at the television in the vain
hope that it would somehow inflict a bump to the head to Janine. This bump would then bring her to her senses
and she would put money before love. Obviously, household objects don’t have
such powers when thrown at the TV and instead Janine went through with the
wedding.
The happiness that both Janine and Michael felt was later
snatched away from them as Janine’s waters suddenly broke and she collapsed in
agony at the altar. It was now clear that both her and her unborn baby’s lives
were in grave danger. As Janine arrived at the hospital and was told she needed
an emergency caesarean, Michael looked on helplessly. As Janine’s tiny (and I
mean tiny) baby was delivered it was clear that something was seriously wrong.
There was no cry. Janine’s dream day was falling apart as her baby girl was
being revived. A horror-struck Michael looked on and from the look on his face
and his ramblings of ‘what have I done?’, it was clear that he blamed himself
for his daughter’s battle for life. Now I have to admit here that I did feel
sympathy for Michael at this point, despite the cruel trick he played on Jean
earlier on in the week (he arranged for a funeral director to turn up at the
Vic saying they were there to discuss the wishes of the deceased- a miss Stacey
Slater in revenge for Jean flushing away his St Christopher cross- even though
she didn’t actually flush it away but just pretended to. Phew!). The big
question of the week is will Janine and Michael’s 11 week premature baby girl
survive?
In other news
This week saw the arrival of another Branning. Yes you read
that right- another Branning. As if there weren’t enough of them already… Joey Branning arrived just as Derek was
dragging a defiant Lucy Beale through the streets in revenge for answering
Alice’s phone and saying that she was with Derek. Joey was taking none of Derek’s bullshit and
said that he wanted nothing to do with him. This was after Joey arrived and
punched Derek full on in the face. I can assure you that the nation cheered as
Derek got a taste of his own nasty medicine. I bet that was hard to swallow!
A relieved Lucy
thanked Joey but the main point of his arrival was to drag Alice back home.
What is it with grown men controlling their adult siblings in soapland? Alice
is a grown woman clearly capable of making her own decisions and mistakes. Only time will tell whether Alice will stay
in contact with Derek…
This week Derek spooked Tanya by informing her that he and
Max were bad boys during Max’s absence. Tanya tried to put a brave face on but
it was clear that she was paranoid and Derek’s words had scared her. So she
asked Max who informed her that he did some things that he wasn’t proud of and
that unfortunately, someone got hurt in the process. Tanya was shocked and agreed with Max that it
was better that she didn’t know what went on. I was shocked at her decision, if
it was me I would want to know just what went on. However maybe Tanya wants a
quiet life after all the stress of the past few years?
Jay’s ultimatum backfired on himself and he was left alone
as Abi went on her eight week field trip to Costa Rica. He didn’t want to be
alone and said to Abi that if she left him for eight weeks that was it- it was
over between them. Although God only knows why he couldn’t go eight weeks
without her. The split was unnecessary and clearly a plot device which will
leave Jay more isolated than ever as he continues to cover up Heather’s murder…
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