EastEnders June 16th- June 22nd 2012

Another week in soap has passed but what has been happening?

EastEnders- The week’s BIG story

The big story in EastEnders this week was the marriage of Michael and Janine. They are clearly a match made in heaven- both are deceitful liars with evil streaks. We’ve seen this manifest itself in numerous ways with Janine ever since her arrival in 1999. She has wed for money but the marriage didn’t last very long as she pushed her husband Barry off a cliff after telling him he disgusted her. Then there was the very near marriage to an elderly Jewish man. Once again Janine was intending to marry for money but this time her plan was thwarted by Pat turning up and proclaiming that Janine was about as Jewish as a bacon sandwich. This classic line from Pat has gone down in EastEnders history but Janine wasn’t impressed seeing as her cash cow keeled over and died before the marriage could take place.

This week saw Janine say “I do” and this time it was for real as she married her partner in crime Michael Moon. Ok, they might not have committed a crime together (yet!), but their collective misdemeanours make this nickname oddly appropriate. It was a given that the majority of guests have an open dislike for the pair yet were still invited in order to make up the numbers. Well, a huge marquee would be no use with just the people there who actually like Janine. As the old cliché goes, their names could be written on the back of a postal stamp. As the guests took their seats a furious Jean looked on and Kat decided to find out once and for all if Michael had taken their money. After repeatedly denying that he was to blame, Michael finally confessed to a disgusted Kat after hearing that Jean was going to kill herself if she was sectioned. Kat had gradually worn down Michael’s defences by declaring that she truly loved him at one point and that she never thought the father of her child would feel nothing for their son together  (Tommy.)

After confessing to Kat that he took the money and that she was better ‘in the sack than Janine’ , Michael said that Janine truly loved him and that he was going to test just how much. A disgusted Kat left him alone and finally could face Jean with knowing the truth.

Whilst this was going on, Janine was left waiting at the altar with the dawning apprehension that something wasn’t right. This was very astute of her as Michael turned up but stopped the ceremony in order to drag Janine away and confront her about the prenuptial agreement. He said that he thought he was ok with it, but he wasn’t and that it meant she didn’t trust him. Janine tried to placate him, but he began to walk out of her and her baby’s lives for ever. Realising that she couldn’t lose him, Janine ripped up the agreement and said she fully trusted him, even though he had just minutes before confessed to conning Jean. Of course Janine being Janine meant that she wasn’t fazed and said that she would have done the same thing if it had been the other way around. She blamed herself for not treating him equally. At this point the entire nation was throwing something at the television in the vain hope that it would somehow inflict a bump to the head to Janine.  This bump would then bring her to her senses and she would put money before love. Obviously, household objects don’t have such powers when thrown at the TV and instead Janine went through with the wedding.

The happiness that both Janine and Michael felt was later snatched away from them as Janine’s waters suddenly broke and she collapsed in agony at the altar. It was now clear that both her and her unborn baby’s lives were in grave danger. As Janine arrived at the hospital and was told she needed an emergency caesarean, Michael looked on helplessly. As Janine’s tiny (and I mean tiny) baby was delivered it was clear that something was seriously wrong. There was no cry. Janine’s dream day was falling apart as her baby girl was being revived. A horror-struck Michael looked on and from the look on his face and his ramblings of ‘what have I done?’, it was clear that he blamed himself for his daughter’s battle for life. Now I have to admit here that I did feel sympathy for Michael at this point, despite the cruel trick he played on Jean earlier on in the week (he arranged for a funeral director to turn up at the Vic saying they were there to discuss the wishes of the deceased- a miss Stacey Slater in revenge for Jean flushing away his St Christopher cross- even though she didn’t actually flush it away but just pretended to. Phew!). The big question of the week is will Janine and Michael’s 11 week premature baby girl survive?

In other news

This week saw the arrival of another Branning. Yes you read that right- another Branning. As if there weren’t enough of them already…  Joey Branning arrived just as Derek was dragging a defiant Lucy Beale through the streets in revenge for answering Alice’s phone and saying that she was with Derek.  Joey was taking none of Derek’s bullshit and said that he wanted nothing to do with him. This was after Joey arrived and punched Derek full on in the face. I can assure you that the nation cheered as Derek got a taste of his own nasty medicine. I bet that was hard to swallow!

 A relieved Lucy thanked Joey but the main point of his arrival was to drag Alice back home. What is it with grown men controlling their adult siblings in soapland? Alice is a grown woman clearly capable of making her own decisions and mistakes.  Only time will tell whether Alice will stay in contact with Derek…

This week Derek spooked Tanya by informing her that he and Max were bad boys during Max’s absence. Tanya tried to put a brave face on but it was clear that she was paranoid and Derek’s words had scared her. So she asked Max who informed her that he did some things that he wasn’t proud of and that unfortunately, someone got hurt in the process.  Tanya was shocked and agreed with Max that it was better that she didn’t know what went on. I was shocked at her decision, if it was me I would want to know just what went on. However maybe Tanya wants a quiet life after all the stress of the past few years?

Jay’s ultimatum backfired on himself and he was left alone as Abi went on her eight week field trip to Costa Rica. He didn’t want to be alone and said to Abi that if she left him for eight weeks that was it- it was over between them. Although God only knows why he couldn’t go eight weeks without her. The split was unnecessary and clearly a plot device which will leave Jay more isolated than ever as he continues to cover up Heather’s murder…

EastEnders June 9th- June 15th 2012

Another week in soap has passed but what has been happening?

EastEnders- The week’s BIG story

EastEnders June 9^th- June 15^th 2012

Ever since Kat Moon’s sudden exit in January her husband Alfie and Roxy have grown increasingly closer. Kat’s absence has meant that Alfie can be himself again and Roxy has clearly been bringing out the best in him. After all, it is blindingly obvious to the majority of viewers that Alfie and Kat no longer have the spark that made them such a magical pairing in the first place. Indeed, this chemistry is now evident between ‘Grandad’ and ‘Peroxide’.  These are the affectionate nick-names that Alfie and Roxy have given each other (much to the viewer’s delight). So Kat’s arrival back in the Vic has caused tensions and knowing looks between her husband and her enemy. Well, I say enemy but Roxy has done absolutely nothing wrong but Kat has taken a dislike to her for some reason.

This week saw Kat with Jean (does she ever even look after her son or spend any time with him?) rifling through Michael’s paperwork to see if he had left any evidence behind of his dodgy dealings. Unluckily for them Michael was far too cunning and had destroyed all evidence. This enraged Kat who once again snarled in Michael’s direction and proclaimed that she would find evidence that proved that he was a liar. Michael was again one step ahead and sent the police around to the Vic to warn Jean and Kat that their continuing harassment was a criminal offence. Kat then told the police about Michael’s deception but she was told that she would have to file a separate complaint. This delighted Janine who was convinced that Jean was obsessed with her fiancé. Ever gleeful at somebody’s downfall, Janine revelled in Kat and Jean’s embarrassment. This enraged Kat who threw a drink over Janine after the latter called Jean a ‘nutter’. Never one to take a ‘hit lying down, Janine threw a drink right back over Kat. This led to Kat changing into what can only be described as a monstrosity that must have cost 50p from Walford Borough Market.

Kat decided to speak to Janine face-to-face and with only the two of them involved in the conversation. Janine listened but laughed off Kat’s pleas for her to believe that her fiancé was a liar. Janine then told Kat that Eddie Moon was skint so can’t have lent Alfie the £10,000 V.A.T money. A furious Kat guesses (correctly) that Roxy had left Alfie the money. She comes to this conclusion after Derek teases her about how close her husband grew towards Roxy during her absence. This riles Kat who then proceeded in sacking Roxy and informing her that she was working her last shift at the Vic. Of course, Roxy would have a decent case for unfair dismissal but this is soap and Roxy just took the news, but not without guiltily confessing to Kat that she has a crush on Alfie. Kat accepted this as hardly surprising as she knew Alfie as a man that makes people feel special. This is all true of course but if Kat knows this, why does she continue to act coldly towards her supposed true love? This is the Kat who has recently had a bunk up with a near stranger in an alley way. Kat’s moral high ground is looking very shaky to me.

Despite her cold ways, Kat made sure she did show Alfie some affection as she knew Roxy was looking on. Sure enough, Roxy silently left the pub with Kat putting on a right show of affection for Alfie. Alfie then said that he loved Kat when she was ‘like this’ which surely means he is well aware of their marital problems. Only time will tell whether Kat manages to keep up the show and whether she manages to show continued affection for her husband, or whether she will go back to her previous ways of acting coldly towards him.....

In other news

Despite Derek warning Lucy previously that he was onto her and that he knew she was behind Alice’s inebriation, Lucy continued to play with fire and this week informed Derek’s probation officer that Derek is dealing in something dodgy. This comes after the probation officer heard Derek saying some not very nice things to Lucy. Lucy’s words have some serious consequences for Derek as his probation officer later pays him another visit and tells him of his disappointment and that he thought Derek was really going straight this time. While this is all going on, Alice is waiting for her dad who had promised that he would take her out for the day. An incensed Alice got fed up of waiting and decided to head home just as Derek was arriving to meet her. Alice told Derek that he had let her down once again and that she was fed up of him saying one thing and doing another. Realising that Lucy is behind his downfall with Alice, a vengeful Derek paid Lucy a visit and told her that he would not be messed with. As he shouted that he could be a not very nice man when pushed, a terrified Lucy cowered and agreed not to mess with him again. Satisfied for now, Derek once again helped himself to the till’s takings and left Lucy collapsing into terrified sobs of relief.

This week saw two proposals. First a desperate Jay proposed to Abi in a bid to keep her in the country. Abi had been offered a summer scholarship to Costa Rica (where?!), and Jay was anxious that she should stay in Walford with him. Abi had already said she wasn’t going on the scholarship but after Tanya persuaded her, she agreed much to Jay’s annoyance. This led to Jay’s proposal. Will Abi say yes?

The second proposal came from Tanya to Max. Bizarrely, she chose just after a heated row to propose. A stunned Max said that he wasn’t ready and that he was happy the way things were. A dejected Tanya looked slightly disappointed but agreed. Will Max change his mind?

EastEnders June 2nd- June 8th 2012

Another week in soap has passed but what has been happening?

EastEnders- The week’s BIG story

Ever since Michael Moon started conning Jean out of thousands of pounds, it was obvious that sooner or later the truth would come out. This finally happened this week. The week started with Jean still reeling after Michael asked her what she was going on about when she asked for the money back. Of course he denied all knowledge because he was in a cab with Janine en route to Paris, but Jean was horrified nonetheless. Jean rang Michael and insisted that she could take a joke but would really like the money back now because Roxy was getting suspicious and the Vic was running low on Booze for the Queen’s Jubilee party in the Vic. After visiting the Boxing gym and asking Jack about the scheme for troubled youngsters that she had invested in, Jack told her that he didn’t know what scheme she was on about. This really spooked Jean, who was becoming more and more panicked by the minute. After spotting Michael arriving back on the square, Jean paid him a visit and once again demanded her money back.  Michael continued to play games and denied all knowledge.

However, taking her to one side later on in the week, Michael informed Jean that he would give her the money back if she met him at his and Janine’s house at 2pm. Of course, this wasn’t Michael actually planning to give her the money back. He cleverly ensured the house was empty and left the front door ajar so Jean would make her own way inside. This is exactly what happened and Janine sure got a fright when she arrived home to Jean sitting on her couch. Cue Janine’s screeches of ‘What ARE you doing here?’ Jean’s explanations fell on deaf ears and it was left to Michael who was just arriving home, to deny he had asked Jean round and to implore that she leave both of them alone. Before leaving the house, Jean informed Janine that she was going but that she wanted the money back that Michael had stolen from her.  Michael ‘painted’ on one of his signature looks of disbelief/amusement whilst Janine was left with a look of utter confusion on her face. This wasn’t the end of the matter though.

Jean finally confessed all to Roxy after the latter searched the safe at the Vic and found nothing. Initially sceptical, Roxy finally agreed to believe in Jean after being reminded of Michael’s cruel games with Ronnie the year before.  The pair then searched Michael’s office at the boxing gym but found nothing as Michael caught them in act and in typical soap fashion had already been scheming in order for Roxy to doubt Jean. Cue dolls in baby’s blankets with Amy’s christening band in a cot in Jean’s room. Despite Roxy insisting that she believed in Jean, she now turned on her. Realising that she was on her own, Jean began to fall apart which led to Roxy calling Alfie and tell him to come home immediately.  He did- but with wife Kat in tow. Cue awkward looks between Roxy and Alfie and Kat vowing to get the money back from Michael- and bring him down in the process. Exciting!

In other news

Afia decided that she wanted to go travelling and within one episode, was setting off on her moped with all her belongings in one small bag. Tamwar? She left him behind as she realised that he wanted to come back to Walford afterwards. In all honesty, Afia’s exit was rushed and a poor effort. She was a character with so much potential so god knows why she was axed. A mistake by the producers I think…

After Bobby felt neglected and did a runner, Lucy was left frantically searching for him. Unfortunately for her, he was spotted by Derek who takes the opportunity to be nosy and extract information from him about Ian’s whereabouts.  After reuniting brother and sister, Derek later paid a visit to the café and helped himself to quite a large wad of the takings. Of course, this was undeserved but Lucy was left helpless.  She later took revenge on Derek by slipping vodka into Alice’s coke at the Moon brothers’ house party. So the week ended with many questions. Will Kat bring Michael down? Will Derek get revenge on Lucy? And more importantly, will Tamwar ever actually smile?

EastEnders May 26th- June 1st 2012

Another week in soap has passed but what has been happening?

EastEnders- The week’s BIG story

Ever since Derek Branning arrived on the Square he has caused nothing but trouble. He taunted a dying Pat, threatened to kill her son David, acted very creepily around his own sister Carol and to top it off he became involved in a whole manner of dodgy dealings, usually involving Alfie or Billy. However us viewers have seen a very different side to Derek ever since his estranged daughter Alice Branning turned up. He seemed genuinely remorseful for all the things he had put her and her brother Joey through, and vowed to her that he would change and would go ‘legit’. Of course Derek being Derek, that was never going to happen.

Behind Derek’s back, Tanya filled Alice in on her father’s criminal past and presumably a whole load of other intriguing secrets, but this happened off-screen so us viewers were left to our own imaginations on the matter. Some have speculated that Derek is the real father of Lauren Branning, but this seems wholly unlikely considering Tanya can hardly bare to look at Derek without wanting to throw up. Of course these similar rumours circulated when Jack Branning turned up, but thankfully they turned out to be incorrect. I’m sure this will be the case here- Max is Lauren’s father.

Tanya’s warning to Alice caused her to move faster than when Hev (God rest her soul) saw that someone was closing in on the last block of cheese. Alice ran for a taxi just as Derek was making his way over to the Brannings, which caused huge embarrassment to the clan because it’s not like they’re not used to airing their dirty linen in public, is it?!

With a little help from Cora, Derek realised that someone must have bad-mouthed him to his beloved daughter. It didn’t take him long to figure out who. Tanya was after all acting very strangely around Derek (although that was always the case), and seemed to want to avoid his company completely (we can’t say we blame her).  Angry that Tanya had potentially cost him his relationship with Alice, Derek grabbed her roughly by the arm and sneered that he was onto her and that if she ever did anything like that again he would kill her. Although knowing Derek, he’d probably get someone else to do the job.  Throughout this encounter, which was in a busy Square, no one said or did anything.  And no one familiar to Derek or Tanya happened to be walking past at the time. How convenient you might say? Well I’m sure the scriptwriters will have had the encounter that way on purpose, but in real life Derek would have been challenged.

Tanya’s face said it all. She was scared of Derek and she regretted talking to Alice. She probably even feared for her safety. This then led to a horrible thought- will Derek kill Tanya? Jo Joyner (Tanya) is leaving the show early next year. Will Derek be true to his word and kill Tanya? Only time will tell….

In other news…

Jean’s new friendship with Michael is just an elaborate plot for Michael to take all of Jean’s money. Of course she doesn’t know this which is why she gave him the Vic’s £10,000 V.A.T money. Michael promised to double Jean’s investment in his scheme. Jean, knowing that Michael will be helping Alfie, decides to give him the ten grand. Of course this money was going straight into paying for Michael’s wedding to Janine.

All of this would be ‘ok’ if Roxy hadn’t noticed the huge discrepancies in the accounts. Questioning Jean about this led Jean to panic and demand that Michael hand the money back. Michael, who was getting into a taxi with Janine for their weekend in Paris, said he didn’t know what money Jean was talking about.  This of course led to Jean left with a look of horror and confusion on her face. When will she realise that she is being conned?

Lucy’s attempt to return to normality in the wake of Ian’s disappearance was thwarted this week. Lucy started the week in high spirits because of Mandy’s exit and assumed that her dad, ever the businessman, had decided to go on the honeymoon cruise. This is hardly surprising, after all Ian is the tightest man in Walford.  This happy existence was shattered after, during her house party, Lucy discovered Ian’s passport in a chest of drawers whilst looking for matches. Realising that Ian was in fact missing and not on honeymoon, Lucy panicked and told Phil and Ben in order for them to help her. This led them to going to a hotel where Ian’s credit card was being used.  This led them to Mandy, not Ian, who was holding a wake for Lorraine. Unsurprisingly, no one turned up. So this was the week we said a goodbye to Mandy Salter, a character brought back after a seventeen year absence. In all honesty, I will be sad to see Mandy leave. She was a hugely sympathetic character, who despite her obvious flaws, would own up to them and try her best to please everyone. It’s such a shame she didn’t love Ian enough to stick around, but let’s hope that she doesn’t wait seventeen years to come back to Walford next time.

EastEnders May 19th- May 25th 2012

Another week in soap has passed but what has been happening?

EastEnders- The week’s BIG story

Ever since his baby faced Brother Ben Mitchell confessed to him that he’d killed poor old Hev, Ian Beale has been in utter turmoil. Already slightly manic due to the events in his life, this confession ultimately pushed him over the edge. And it’s no surprise really. Ian Beale is seen as a bit of a joke by the residents of Walford: his run of failed marriages leaves people aware that he is desperate to marry Mandy, his wayward daughter hates his fiancée, he is spending money faster than he is earning it, and his business are making losses not profit. All in all, he is in a bit of a state. This partly explains his actions this week, which has seen Ian turn to frantically running around trying to organise a wedding that even the bride doesn’t want to go to. This is because Mandy’s mother Lorraine finally succumbed to alcoholism leaving her daughter needing some breathing space. Hardly surprising considering Lorraine told her daughter that she was ‘unlovable’.  On top of all this, Ian’s arch enemy Phil Mitchell has threatened him not to reveal killer Ben’s secret- or else….

Ian’s world finally fully imploded when Mandy, on the day of the wedding no less, dumped Ian after deciding that she didn’t love him enough to marry him. God knows why Mandy left it until the morning of the wedding to declare this. This tipped an already fragile and manic Ian over the edge and led him to walk out of Walford,  his son and daughter and directly down the side of a very busy dual carriageway. Wearing nothing on his feet and with just a dressing gown for shelter. Oh dear, we fear this isn’t going to end very well at all. Not only for Ian, but for his daughter Lucy who saw Ian choose Ian over her; Ben whose secret is about to come spilling out; Phil who will lose Shirley for good; Shirley who will learn the horrifying truth etc. The ramifications are endless and this is what has made the Heather storyline so engrossing. So many different people are involved and the consequences will be so far reaching.

In other news

Roxy’s crush on Alfie reached new heights this week. Not only did she call herself ‘Mrs Moon’ to a delivery man, she nearly burst with excitement when a downtrodden Alfie asked her out for a curry. A curry at the Argee Bhajee is hardly a romantic date for two, but it did the trick for a smitten Roxy who was so obviously happy about the ‘date’, that her best mate Christian had to tell her to re-consider and to also move out of the Vic. Christian feared that his best friend was just going to end up hurt and wanted to prevent this from happening. Roxy, however, ignored his words of wisdom, and dolled herself up. In typical soap fashion, Alfie then rushed off to see an upset Kat. Roxy was left all done up and with nowhere to go.

Gullible Jean Slater toasted her new friendship with evil Michael Moon this week. Michael has been consistently conning Jean with investment opportunities. He has said that if she gives him all of her savings and the Vic’s £10,000 VAT money , he will double it within weeks.  Of course, this hasn’t happened and instead he has been ploughing all of the money into his wedding to Janine who herself is blissfully unaware of the deception that her fiancé is involved in. Of course this will all come out very soon in dramatic fashion…