EastEnders June 30th- July 6th 2012

Another week in soap has passed but what has been happening?

EastEnders- The week’s BIG story

This week saw a rare treat for fans of EastEnders- a five episode week. These occasions are rarer than Kat keeping her knickers on, so are usually something to look forward to. However, this week was an exception for many reasons and the main reason was that the week centred on the storyline “Who Shagged Kat”.  I used to be a Kat fan; she was after all an iconic character during her 2000-2005 stint. She arrived a damaged woman who had suffered years of abuse at the hands of her uncle Harry and which had resulted in the birth of her secret daughter Zoe. This resulted in the infamous storyline of Kat/Zoe the truth revealed. These episodes were when the iconic lines were screeched: Zoe: “You can’t tell me what to do, you aint my mother!”

Kat: “Yes I am!”

A two-hander followed (an episode where only two characters appear) and the result was the nation took Kat to their hearts. She was ballsy; feisty; defensive and was the original ‘tart with a heart’.  The love story with Alfie followed and their 2005 Christmas day exit was a huge ratings winner for the beeb. And this is what is so frustrating. Since her 2010 return Kat is essentially a different character. She is cold; distant and abusive. Part of her change could be put down to the damaging baby swap storyline- this would change anyone. However, before this even happened Kat returned to the square and was vile. We learnt that she had cheated on Alfie with his cousin Michael which had resulted in Tommy and that she was on the run for some criminals. Along with these misdemeanours she actively encouraged Stacey to wreck another woman’s marriage. And she punched Alfie in the face in full view of the square. Obviously this is assault but because it’s Kat nothing was said. Imagine the controversy if it was the other way around…

So the regression had already started and this week it came full circle with Kat’s latest antics. Kat decided to manage the Vic’s football team (because Alfie was having trouble recruiting players apparently) .EastEnders couldn’t have Kat cheating without giving us reasons to feel sorry for her. Firstly, her relationship with Alfie was mocked. This started via his missed penalty at the football match. Alfie was shown to be rubbish at football and so emasculated.  Meanwhile Kat was openly flirting with all of the male players and her speech was ridiculed with innuendos about the lads’ ball skills. She then awarded Jack Branning ‘legs of the match’ and gave him a cheeky wink. Then she flirted with Max and said that he needed more stamina. Cue Max looking at Kat’s arse as she walked away from him. Then there was Kat accidentally touching a hot plate and being comforted by Ray who immediately placed her hand under the cold tap. This was meant to show sizzling chemistry but to be honest that wasn’t really accomplished here- instead we had Kat looking ridiculous in her Mrs Moon tracksuit being fawned over by men that she barely acknowledged a week ago. I mean she barely spoke to Max before and now she was hinting about a lack of stamina. The whole plot is poorly thought of and with no real build up. Anyway, I digress somewhat…

To cut a long story short, Kat was visited in the Vic kitchen by her mystery man. “Aren’t you coming in then?” she purred. Thankfully we were spared any gory details but the next scene did cut to Kat panting and with her back to the cooker. Shagging your mystery man against a cooker- very classy Kat and not entirely hygienic either! Of course she felt guilty but this didn’t stop her meeting up with the man again on Friday as she received a text saying “Alley Kat. 11pm” This led to Kat talking to a shadow and imploring that as a mother and wife she wouldn’t be making the mistake again. Her mystery man accepted this and walked away, only to be called back as Kat once again dropped her knickers. Meanwhile, Alfie was asleep in bed and completely oblivious to Kat’s betrayal. Only time will tell whether Alfie finds out, but let’s hope he kicks Kat’s cheating ass out once the truth is out…

In other news…

This week saw scheming Joey Branning set out to show Alice what their dad was really like. After agreeing to Derek’s invitation of dinner, Joey turned up late and with Fat Boy, Lucy, Lauren, Whitney, Tyler and Anthony in tow. This infuriated Derek who had banked on the meal being quality time between them. Losing his cool, Derek lashed out and tried to attack Joey.  Alice is visibly horrified but is this enough for her to abandon Derek?

Lola’s vandalism resulted in her wearing an electronic tag with a strict curfew. This curfew was nearly broken as Lola and Jay got locked inside the barrel store at the Vic after finding the keys on the pavement (Kat had earlier dropped them). After hiding from Derek who was having a nosey, Lola and Jay had to run to Billy’s in order for Lola to make her curfew. With just seconds to spare, she arrived home and cheekily planted a kiss on Jay’s lips. Is the start of something beautiful between the pair?